We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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