it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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