I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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