Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
