and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
