It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
