i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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