super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
