What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
