Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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