is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My ass is underappreciated
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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