i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just google imaged poop.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
