ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
