I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
