ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
