I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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