Small penises have feelings too.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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