This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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