It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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