2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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