Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
