found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
