do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize