Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
