Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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