he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
