I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
