It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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