Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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