life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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