everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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