He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
