Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
