I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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