I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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