Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
