Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
