He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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