I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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