somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
