do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
last night I used snow as a chaser
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
