Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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