My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
