hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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