I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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