I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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