3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
