That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
