I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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