their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
